End of this season of my life, and this blog

The Rowan Family high up in a ancient castle in Sintra, Portugal

Some 11 years ago I started this blog. I was flush in the nesting phase of life: building a marriage with my new husband, preparing for adding two children, and focussing on the family we were building. I spent my evenings perusing adoption blogs, envisioning the life I was trying to sculpt. Jason and I were alone in rural Alberta, and writing about my own learning and aspirations as a parent made us both feel that we were part of a greater international adoption community. We felt less like the oddballs who had chosen to walk a different path, and more like members of a very purposeful movement.

When the girls first came home, I was so proud ( and still am,) of the beautiful little beings and trusted in my care. Through our family blog, we expressed our joy, hoped that we would inspire others to adopt, and shared many precious moments with our family and friends.

When the girls were little, I appreciated the blog as a place to archive pictures, curate memories and discuss the challenges related to international, transracial, adoption of older children. But as time passed, I found that the issues we were dealing with were much too private to be shared in a public forum. Instead, we collaborated with fellow parents in our local BC community.

When the girls grew older, Africa Sleeps was a growing business and my blog had become a part of my personal brand. I also used this blog to put a human face to the humanitarian work I did with Vulnerable Children Society, and thought it was too valuable tool to let go.

Noe seven years since the girls have come home, I’ve sold my Africa Sleeps business and no longer rely on my personal connections to spread the word of the good work done by our charity. Although the Vulnerable Children Society continues to thrive, it has its own deserved reputation that is independent from mine. And as much as our family and friends still check the blog for pictures of the children, it’s unfortunately a one-way communication that doesn’t fill up my cup for connection.

This last few months have been really hard for me: financial stress related to our juvenile business, long hours and lack of time off, and undermet needs of social connection and intellectual stimulation. In short, I’m in one of those awkward transitional phase is between the seasons of my life, figuring out what it looks like. I find myself evaluating everything I’m doing and it’s relevance for my life at this stage. In fact, I made myself a list the other day of the things that are good for me and my family, and what’s important to me. Have a look:

What is good for me?
Walking, especially with friends
Meal planning
New projects and challenges

What is good for my family?
Slower pace
Home cooked meals
Less technology
Steady dose of adventure and exploration

What is important to me?
Visiting with my children after school
Spending time with my friends
Talking with my husband
Learning and filling my intellectual cup
Keeping in touch with family
Making a difference and helping others
Travel and adventure
Tending our home
Creativity and projects

At this point, my blog, as attached as I am to it, doesn’t fill up any of those cups. So it’s taken me six months, but I’ve decided to fold this site up in 10 days time. With one more little dose of pictures, I’m signing off.

If you are friends with me in the real world, I’ll see you in person. And if we’ve been friends online, I hope to meet you one day and have a cup of tea.

Much love and blessings, and many thanks for your kind words over the years,

Walking 15 Irish Wolfhounds

Tully the Irish Wolfhound Rowan Family Tree

It’s now becoming an annual Christmas tradition… This weekend we went on a lovely walk with 14 other Irish Wolfhounds and their people down in Mission, BC.

Tully the Irish Wolfhound Rowan Family Tree

Tully the Irish Wolfhound Rowan Family Tree

Our own year old baby, Tully, had a blast hanging out with other equally giant dogs. None of the puppies were even intimidated by his size, and he romped and frolicked with the other wolfhounds to his heart’s content.

Tully the Irish Wolfhound Rowan Family Tree

Tully the Irish Wolfhound Rowan Family Tree

It was great to connect with other wolfhound people, commiserate, and  ask questions. For example, we weren’t sure if Tully was lean enough, as he’s been packing on the weight in the last month or so. It’s hard to tell, though, since we don’t have any other wolfhounds to compare him too. It was great to get the feedback (although I’m sure Tully won’t appreciate that he’s going to have to lose 10lbs.)

Tully the Irish Wolfhound Rowan Family Tree

I hope you enjoyed the pictures of our boy and more beautiful wolfies! Last year’s walk pictures too!

Tully the Irish Wolfhound Rowan Family Tree

Christmas is in the air

Rowan Family Tree Ethiopia adoption

Having a retail store, we start decorating at work the end of November. It took a week into December for us to get into the Christmas spirit at home. Now we’ve gone out to the Christmas tree farm, roasted marshmallows, decorated the tree, made homemade gifts for family and our business partners, and even watched the kids’ concert. The holidays are in full swing!

Rowan Family Tree Ethiopia adoption

Sugar (above) and Spice (below) playing instruments during the Little Drummer Boy at the school Christmas concert. 

Rowan Family Tree Ethiopia adoption

Schools out! Yeah!

Rowan Family Tree Ethiopia adoption

We picked a much smaller tree than usual to fit into our tiny house, and it’s just lovely. Thankfully, Tully hasn’t been interested in the least, so he’s let it totally alone.

Rowan Family Tree Ethiopia adoption

We thought this tree far was perfect for Jason.

Rowan Family Tree

Rowan Family Tree Ethiopia adoption

Rowan Family Tree Ethiopia adoption

Now the kids are off school, and I’m going to be mostly at home for the holidays. This will be the first time I’ve had the holidays actually off (minus one day) for years, and I’m pretty excited about it. The last couple of years have been pretty hectic and stressful for the holidays, so this year my goal simply is to be in the moment, keep it simple, enjoy and relax. Mom and Dad are coming, so they will be staying in their guest dungeon downstairs. They are pretty low key guests, which is great.

Rowan Family Tree Ethiopia adoption

Today after I get out of my bathrobe we are driving down to the coast for a quick overnight, and a long morning walk with 20 other Isish Wolfhounds. I’ll be sure to post the pictures! I’m a wee bit nervous, because Tully isn’t neutered and they will all be off leash, but mostly I’m just looking forward to it.

Rowan family tree Irish wolfhound Christmas

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas!


Where we live… Some people say this place doesn’t exist

Sometimes we forget in daily life how lucky we are to live in this gorgeous place! Yes, our Kelowna family does almost everything in the video (although not every day, of course.) We love living here because there are always so many things to do, and it’s so accessible, outdoorsy and fun for families. Come visit and see what all the fuss is about!

How to Move a Family into a Tiny Rental House

We’ve been in our new tiny house for over a month now. As soon as I install one more light fixture in my bed arrives, I’ll do some glam shots.

There was some considerable planning involved to move  two adults, two children, a giant dog and an ancient one from a 2100 sq ft house to our new 700 sq ft digs. Contemplating our move, I did net search for recommendations on  moving a family to a tiny house. (And yes, anything less than 200 sq ft per person does quality as a tiny house!)  Most people who contemplate a move to something smaller either don’t have kids, or simply don’t write about it online.  But there were some gems. Here are my own tips if you’re thinking about such a move.

#1 Get everyone in the family excited about the move.

I sold everyone on our house by focusing on the freedom, extra money, and potential travel you will have when you live in a tiny house. My husband was basically sold on the idea of less housework, but the kids took some convincing. There is a treehouse in our new yard, so that was a bonus, and after the bribery of having a sleepover at the new place, they were in.

We also had several discussions about how we wanted to live in our new house, and how we wanted to spend our time as a family. Two examples: in our old house, my visiting parents had been sleeping on the sofa bed for the last couple of years, after Africa Sleeps took over the third bedroom. We wanted them to have a comfortable place to dwell in our new home, and we did it! The tiny rental house has a basement, sort of. Now, it’s so low that I can’t stand in all of it (Jason can’t stand straight up anywhere down there,) but, there is a little room with a two foot window in the back corner. We spruced it up, and now Mom and Dad have their own guest dungeon! Another example is that Jason wanted to continue to have poker nights in the new house. So we actually have a room downstairs (again, with slightly less than 6 foot ceilings,) that we have left intentionally clear. On the side, we have his folding poker table and folding chairs, and he can now have games with his friends down there, as long as they stay seated, of course.

#2 Measure your new home and make a floorplan.

Yes, I love the architecture and planning, so this was a joy for me. But even if you don’t get a small thrill when you look at a blueprint, planning your space is essential to a grand downsizing. You need to know what of your old stuff will actually fit in the new space, and what you are going to have to scrounge or buy to make it work.

Plan for lots of storage, and think about how you would actually want to live in a space, as opposed to your habits now. We used to recreate in different rooms, but I designed our new house to have one central hanging out area. Also think about how you can use spaces for multiple purposes. For example, the kitchen doubles as the occasional office.

Another helpful process is to think of what your family does in an average weekday or weekend day. This will help you remember to plan for a place for school lunch kits, where to feed the dogs, shoe storage and other mundane essentials. Don’t worry about the 5% of the time special occasion stuff. Yes, we have Christmas dinner with 9 people or more every year. But we sure as heck aren’t going to plan a room around a once a year occasion. We will just bring in a folding table and move some furniture around if we need to. The other 364 days a year need to work see lesson, though.

I used this app to plan our new space.

Rowan Family Tree Tiny House Plan

This is the actual plan of our house… Pretty compact, isn’t it?

#3 Move only the essentials, and leave the rest behind.

OK, so not everyone has the luxury of having access to the old and new home at once. But we made sure we had a month at least of overlap to make the move.

We started by moving just the furniture that we knew would fit the new little house, which in our case was only the beds, one dresser, one sheet of shelves, and two chairs. I kid you not… Nothing else fit properly. Then we proceeded to weed through everything we wanted to bring. I gave the kids six storage boxes for toys, and said “pick the ones you like the best, because everything else is staying. They screamed, but actually it wasn’t that difficult after all. Add to that two boxes of books handpicked from our huge library and the girls’ special little shrines of treasures, and they were essentially moved out.

With clothes, I made everyone try on everything before it left the old house. If it was torn, worn, the wrong size or hadn’t been on their bodies in a calendar year, it didn’t make the cut. This seems harsh, but actually it’s quite liberating to leave all the extras that fill your closets behind.

The point is that you don’t bring stuff to the tiny house to be sorted… It never makes it there in the first place. And yes, we have a shed full of tools and a basement (sort of) full of camping and skiing equipment. But the “one day” gear for the trailer we don’t have anyone or the

#4 Buy or scrounge exactly the right furniture for the space.

Don’t try to squeeze anything into your new tiny space. If you have an antique piece of furniture that simply doesn’t fit, lend it to a friend or put it in storage. But don’t clutter up your space because someone offers you something or you “already have it.”

We had a huge estate sale, and the money I gained selling our old furniture I used to buy new (or new to me) furnishings for the new tiny house. My buff offered me a gorgeous round teak table, but once I realized it was eight inches to big, I politely refused and stuck with one I bought online that had a pedestal. Let me tell you, I am very grateful for those eight inches!

We also inherited a full sized fridge from my landlord. A super nice fridge, by the way. But it was huge in our teeny eat in kitchen. So I called around to my favourite appliance repair shop, and ended up buying a 60 year old mini fridge fixer-upper for $50. I’m so glad we did, even though I have to defrost that old thing once a month. We just buy exactly the groceries we need for the week and have less half bottles of sauces. And the space it saves in the kitchen!

#5 Be militant about the one in / one out rule.

After working so hard to have a well-planned non-cluttered space, you need to set some rules to maintain it. Obviously, the kids need the one in / one out rule. You should have seen the enormous collection of stuffies they had before! If they bring in a new toy, an old toy of comparable size needs to leave the house forever. I cannot tell you how much this cuts down on consumerism.

Adults also need rules… Or at least strong suggestions. Jason is a pack rat with clothes, and a complete shoe-a-holic. So twice a year I take everything out of his closet, throw it on the bed, and make him try on everything before it goes back in. Being both adults, I can’t make him do anything, so there is the inevitable squirrelling away of too many hoodies, but it does remind him to throw out the sock with holes and give away shirts that have fallen far, far out of fashion.

We also have involved our family in our new house frugality. Where do you think all those stuffies came from in the first place? Not us! So for Christmas, I’ve really pushed with my family to get the girls something consumable, or an experience. For example, a day at the spa or movie tickets. Of course, if they get toys, they will have to give away some old ones. Um, Boxing Day should be interesting.

If you are contemplating moving your family to a tiny house, I hope these tips are helpful. It’s been a great move for us, and all of us (even the grandparents in their guest dungeon!) are glad that we have downsized.