Late last week, we found out that we definitively couldn’t adopt the teens that we were hoping would join our family.
I was pretty devastated… I spent a couple of days crying. And then I didn’t talk to anyone about it, which is uncharacteristic of me. I just didn’t think most people would understand why I was so upset.
Partly, I was grieving the idea I had, and the plans I wanted to make with those kids. I wanted to take the girl to Paris one day, and set the boy loose in the woods with my dad to go live-trap wolves. I had plans for bedrooms and the next few years. I could see it.
But mostly, I was just so insanely disappointed and sad for the kids. The chances of them getting adopted by someone else, statistically, are miniscule. And although we were very interested and invested, we couldn’t get one BC agency to revise our homestudy to adopt the kids.
At the outset – let me be clear. I’m not mad at any of the agencies – I know they are all non-profits and trying to avoid risk, so they can continue to do the work that they do. They want kids adopted and they want the family placements to work.
It’s just such a dang shame that not one of them could step up to the plate.
One agency said they wouldn’t support adopting kids over 6 years old. The second had no problem with older children adoptions, but they wouldn’t consider an adoption out of birth order. The third and fourth didn’t have the capacity. One explained that they had a huge contract from the local ministry, and were busy with that, and the other had gone through a lot of staffing changes lately. The last agency commented that if it was 6 months from now, they might consider it, but at this time, no.
No blame – I’m certainly no upset with any of these caring individuals who make adoption their life’s work. Just so so so disappointing.
It stinks that it didn’t work for any of them. So these kids that have a place in my heart will never be able to be adopted by us.
I hope with all my heart that someone else might be able to add them to their family, and they will have the love and support that they deserve.
And as for us, well, after licking my wounds, I will get back to scrolling waiting children lists. For kids 6 and under…