My heart in the hospital


There’s an old expression that says your children are like your heart, walking around outside of your body. Every time we end up in the emergency ward, that’s exactly how I feel.

This time, Spice slammed her finger in the gate, and has likely broken her finger as well as detached the nail from the nail bed. It was incredibly painful, and even with high doses of painkillers, she couldn’t stop crying.

There were a lot more serious times… Like when she had a seizure and we had to spend the night, and when she had Bell’s palsy. Oh, and wait… We can’t forget when she broke her collarbone at three years old. That was just horrible. The other two were much scarier… Because we didn’t know what was going on. But seeing your child in pain, and not being able to make it better, is a killer.

I don’t know why it is always her and never her sister. Not that I wish it on her sister! But the poor thing does seem to be way too familiar with the hospital beds and IVs.

I know quite a few of my friends have much more serious medical challenges to deal with, and I can’t imagine what it would be like to have a child go through multiple surgeries, or be in and out of emergency all the time. A couple of times a year is plenty for me.

I don’t think that you can love anyone as much as your own child. When they are hurting, it’s physically painful for you too. There is nothing in the world that you want to do more than to make them feel better, and take away their pain. Whenit’s appropriate, I can bring out the mama bear and advocate like tech form my kids. This waiting passively by, however; it’s much harder. We’ve been in the hospital four hours, and soon they will put her out, under anesthetic, so they can operate on her hand. And there isn’t anything I can do.

My heart will be getting her finger back together, and I will be cuddling my other heart in the waiting room.

Emergency. This really is one of the hardest things about being a mother.

10 thoughts on “My heart in the hospital

  1. Hugs go out to poor little Spice. Give her a big hug for me please. I hope that you and Sugar are doing okay. I know you must be counting the days until Jason is back home. Take care

  2. Oh Rowan family, I know what you mean! Our A is always the one that ends up in the hospital. Concussion, neck injury w/CT scan, foot cast, whiplash, pediatric shingles with eye involvement, and another concussion that got us an ambulance ride down from the ski hill. Sigh… it’s so hard too when they ask “why me?” Poor muffins. Big hugs to all of you. ❤ STAR

    • You DO know what I mean!

      The funny thing is, Spice isn’t the reckless one… It’s her sister. Sugar is the one who speeds down the ski hill and clips a guy… But not injury!

  3. oh man, the poor girl! that sounds SO painful. I hope she wakes up in much better spirits. Hang in there mama! It is so hard seeing your child in pain.

  4. Oh sweet Spice and poor Mamma Arnica! I worked for many years in the medical ER in a pediatric hospital in Montreal and saw many parents like you. I’m sure the surgery will go well and Spice will be back on her feet in no time! It is really true that having children is like having your heart walking around outside of your body….every time my kid gets knocked down in soccer or a ball/elbow in the face, I cringe in the stands and my knees tremble until he gets back up again

  5. My heart goes out to you and your whole family. I’m so sorry to hear about Spice. Wishing her the best care she can possibly receive and for her to heal quickly so she can get back on her feet again as soon as possible.

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