There’s an old expression that says your children are like your heart, walking around outside of your body. Every time we end up in the emergency ward, that’s exactly how I feel.
This time, Spice slammed her finger in the gate, and has likely broken her finger as well as detached the nail from the nail bed. It was incredibly painful, and even with high doses of painkillers, she couldn’t stop crying.
There were a lot more serious times… Like when she had a seizure and we had to spend the night, and when she had Bell’s palsy. Oh, and wait… We can’t forget when she broke her collarbone at three years old. That was just horrible. The other two were much scarier… Because we didn’t know what was going on. But seeing your child in pain, and not being able to make it better, is a killer.
I don’t know why it is always her and never her sister. Not that I wish it on her sister! But the poor thing does seem to be way too familiar with the hospital beds and IVs.
I know quite a few of my friends have much more serious medical challenges to deal with, and I can’t imagine what it would be like to have a child go through multiple surgeries, or be in and out of emergency all the time. A couple of times a year is plenty for me.
I don’t think that you can love anyone as much as your own child. When they are hurting, it’s physically painful for you too. There is nothing in the world that you want to do more than to make them feel better, and take away their pain. Whenit’s appropriate, I can bring out the mama bear and advocate like tech form my kids. This waiting passively by, however; it’s much harder. We’ve been in the hospital four hours, and soon they will put her out, under anesthetic, so they can operate on her hand. And there isn’t anything I can do.
My heart will be getting her finger back together, and I will be cuddling my other heart in the waiting room.
Emergency. This really is one of the hardest things about being a mother.