No Match: the adoption wait continues


It’s so totally disappointing… apparently only families requesting children over 5 years of age (not us) were matched. The next meeting is in April.

We’re all pretty bummed.

I wouldn’t have got the kids hyped up, if I had thought this was going to happen… at least there is some positive learning for them. Spice said “if you waited and waited for us, you must have really wanted us.” True dat. Sugar, the emotions-avoider, just flailed about frantically on the bed as we had our family meeting on the duvet. “I’m a little sad. What’s for supper?” But then a minute later: “I’m sorry there were 7 court dates for us. That must have been really hard.” Also, true dat. But worth it.

So let’s hope this is all worth it in the end, too.

Jason was surfing the internet about everything Lesotho adoption today – he woke up this morning pretty excited. I on the other hand, didn’t sleep. The whole thing just makes me tired and depressed. Ug.

Off to our parent adoption support group to tell our woes tonight. At least we have a group of friends who understand!

24 thoughts on “No Match: the adoption wait continues

  1. Sorry to hear about your delay. It is a tough space to hold, isn’t it…my mother says it best–she says uncertainty is haunting.
    A foster care/adoption got complex to the point of being helpless to help here on our end. The discouragement is immense. 15 months of hope has just vaporized, pretty much.
    Sending positive thoughts for you on your next go-round.

  2. Oh man, I am so sorry you guys. I really thought today would be the day too. Sounds like you have some very wise and mature little girls.

    Ugh… April seems so far away!!! WTH!!!

  3. I’m soooo sorry to hear that. I had such high hopes for you today. Hang in there. I’m glad you can be with people tonight who understand, and I hope to celebrate with you (across the miles) one day soon!!

  4. So very sorry to hear this. Came over to check and see if you got some good news today. šŸ˜¦ Glad you had a support group to unload on tonight.

  5. How disappointing! Feeling for you guys! Hope April will bring good news. We know all too well that waiting sucks, so lots of empathy for your family as you all wait.

  6. Thanks everybody… I went on a sugar martini binge tonight. 3 martini this and a chocolate lava cake. Still not feeling better, though… Just fluffy.

    Ok, actually I felt better when the martinis were still in effect. That was the first sugar/booze I had had in a month.

    Tomorrow is not looking good though. I think I need a bit of time to get over this disappointment.

    Thanks everybody for your support… We were sharing publicly because 1- we thought we were getting matched and 2- it feels a bit better to share the pain and get empathy!!

  7. I am sitting here with tears! As sad as it is not to be matched, I am overwhelmed with the thought that your girls are learning how much you REALLY wanted them! That is a powerful message for them! Hugs to you all!!

    • Thanks Sheri – it’s been very interesting and different going through this adoption process with 2 little girls along for the ride. Now they really know we didn’t just show up one day in Ethiopia and “pick them up.” šŸ™‚

  8. Hi Arnica, so sorry your family is not matched this time.Dissapointing is an understatement. Hopefully in April you will receive some good news! I really hope so. In the Netherlands it will take some time before we are informed because paperwork is going to the justice department first so we haven’t had any news. Good Luck!! bye, Linda

  9. How terribly, dreadfully frustrating and heartbreaking. I’m so very sorry to hear this news for all of you – for you, your girls, your guy and your little guy that I have no doubt is out there and waiting to meet you all. Ugh. So frustrating! I appreciate you sharing what must have been very hard news. I will cross all fingers and toes for you guys come April.

  10. Dear Family,
    Oh I hope that there soon will be a beautiful Basotho child in your arms! We read your blog regulary. We also wait for a girl or boy from Lesotho (since august 2010), from the age of three years. And we feel the same impatience. Hope that things will get faster this year. Can you tell me which date in April the next meeting is? Our agency doesn’t tell us anything. Thank you so much from the Netherlands, greetings Natasja.

    • Hi! I sure hope it works out for you too…!

      We don’t have a date for April… Ny that they are trying for matching meetings each 2 months now…

  11. Sorry to hear this for you. We here in Holland are still awaiting adoptionnews from the February meeting. I do know that there were also small children matched. At least a boy aged 5 months and a girl 3 1/2 years. But is still is and will be a rollercoaster. Hope for you that the next meeting will be a good one for you and your family.


  12. Hi there! We’ve been looking into doing a Lesotho adoption. Did you ever get matched? Can you recommend anyone to work with in Lesotho to facilitate on the ground?

    • Howdy April!

      We actually didn’t get matched, but it’s because a possibility for Ethiopia opened up and we had to choose… And our daughters are already from Ethiopia, so…

      We worked with Sunrise Adoption in BC…. They are the only Canadian agency that does adoptions form Lesotho. They could tell you the US agency (there is only one) if you are from the states. Just give them a shout!

      We are still working with Sunrise, and they are great. Very professional…

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