Stayed tuned until May 22nd… which is auspicious because it is the new date of the adoption matching meeting in Lesotho.

Our agency sent out a wry email warning us that not all families would be matched, but let’s hope that there is a profusion of 2-3 year old boys and we happen to be one of the lucky families!!!!

That’s right! We have a matching meeting date in Lesotho scheduled for May 16. Yipee!

There hasn’t been a matching meeting since September, when the country changed the rules. This meeting [ed: in Lesotho] will include an of the four orphanages that have completed paperwork on their children (available for adoption,) the four agency reps, and a couple of goverment officials to oversee the process. 

Let’s just hope that a little boy is available and we are a good match for him!

IF we are finally matched, then it wil be 1-3 months away until we pick him … Lesotho, here we come! Cross your fingies!

 I shared that two days of my trip to Ethiopia was traveling out to Nakemte where my daughters’ family lives.

I won’t share any details of my trip, since we keep that information to ourselves, but I can share my feelings and ideas as an adoptive parent. Hopefully these shared experiences will help other adoptive and pre-adoptive families.

When we first signed up for adoption from Ethiopia , one of the attractions to the program was that we would be adopting orphans from across the world and wouldnt have to deal with birth family at all.  I’m crudely paraphrasing, of course.

Ha! The naivety.

Firstly, having birth family contact and information is the best thing for our children. We were pretty “uninformed” to think otherwise. Of course, now we know that many of Ethiopia’s adoptive children have alive and kickin’ birth family… Just like in Canada, families are unable to care for children for many reasons, Poverty being the most common, then the death of parents, and other practical reasons such as young mothers, lack of extended family support, mental illnesses, physical illness.. Just to name a few. Wanting to adopt “an orphan” is, in my opinion, a short-sighted misplaced moral conviction. There are many many more children that need families that have “messier” backgrounds but the exact same needs.

Anyway… We have alive and kicking Ethiopia family. A whole messy bunch of it. In a few days, I’ve been privy to family feuds, arguments, love and attachment, and all the regular family stuff. Maybe worrying about us being accepted into their family wasn’t such an important issue… Because its not like they all accept each other anyway! Lol

It’s hard to know all your kids’ background and to deal with it in person… But from my second hand experience of other peoples’ families, it is much harder not to know.

We brought gifts that were well received… And some gifts that were rejected. We were asked for money- this always happens. Wouldn’t you do the same in the same situation? And luckily when we explained we can’t financially support anyone, they understood why.  This I find actually difficult in some ways, because if we were blood-only family, we would be shipping money back every month to bring the family out of poverty. But since we ARE family by adoption, we can’t financially support them (lest we increase the child trafficking trade.) Honestly, too, financial support is a slippery slippery slope that just avalanches. I recommend to other families you don’t even go there…

It is hard to see your child’s family suffering though.  Really, really hard. I haven’t had a cry about it yet, but I have a feeling that will come when I share with my husband. The poorest people I have ever seen in Ethiopia, bar none, were some of our family members. People can’t believe how tall and healthy our kids are, because children so much older than them are smaller, shorter, cognitively behind, skinnier… I know it affected my mom greatly too.  It just makes you want to hold onto your kids all the tighter, and be SO GRATEFUL that they are in Canada and able to reach their full potential.

Practically speaking, We have always had direct communication with our Ethiopian family… And now we have a mailbox to send things back and forth. I don’t know how much we actually will GET,  but it’s there. I’m not offering to do this for anyone else… You need to find your own solutions and their are companies out there willing to do it for you. Some agencies, depending on their philosophy, will do this for you as well.

If you are wondering why we have a direct connection, there are three reasons. First, our family (in canada and ethiopia) was willing. That’s a big one. Second, I write EVERYTHING down, from cell numbers to locations. Thirdly, when we picked up the girls, our adoption agency was going through bankruptcy and all bets were off as far as relying on them for follow up.

There were some amazing surprises this trip… Connections that we never knew we had, photos of other kids who look like my girls, background history and ongoing family information that is so valuable. And over time, we will learn more as it comes up…

I guess my real point here is that knowing your child’s family means you don’t just know their historical background… You know their family today, yesterday AND tomorrow. Their birth family is an evolving part of who they are, and who we are as a complete big huge multi-cultural complicated family.

I hope as they get older, my girls will realize how much effort we have put into maintaining that connection for them… So they know how much we value their heritage and family, and how much we love them. My mom says this will happen when they are in their 20s! Lol.  But it think it might happen the first time we take them out to Nakemte.  Which, hopefully, will be in a few years. That’s what I told their family, anyway.

We were so incredibly organized and well shuttled around by our friend in Adama that we accomplished more than we thought in fewer days. So we actually got to leave a day early and went back to Addis.

Before we left, I stopped by the orphanage where our kids lived for 10 months. Fortunately both the man and the lady who run it were there and we had a nice chat. They loved the pictures and were thrilled to hear about the kids. I was pleasantly surprised to hear that all our updates had been received, especially since our agency had gone bankrupt and been transitioned so many times since.

Then we left for Addis.

On the way we stopped at Babogaya resort, which has an amazing collection of Ethiopian artwork for really reasonable prices. I had already gotten a fab painting from there, and so my mom and I were happy to join in! I purchased the green painting on the floor, and am very happy with it.

Back in Addis, we took a day for shopping and running around…eating delicious food, shopping and just overall relaxing. Very heavenly. We went to Shiromeda, the Sole Rebels shoe store, and the disability workers store where they sell amazing toys. I bought all my Christmas cards for December! So pretend to be surprised, friends and family.

Enjoy the pictures…

Nicky

Today we went shopping at the shiromet at the base of Entoto Mountain in Addis. We had lots of fun…But my mom still complained that I was a woman on a mission. I agreed! Not only did I have some shopping for the family to do, I also was buying lots of beautiful scarves, bracelets, hoodies, etc. for our Vulnerable Children fundraiser when we get home. T was also out shopping today, and she scored some roasted coffee beans to sell (to go along with the green beans I purchased in Nakemte. See a preview of our fundraiser sale here.)

The problem with traditional clothes is that they tend to (literally) fall apart at the seams. So today I was shopping with an eye for stitching.

I got two lovely dresses for my girls. Their others are falling apart, and they wear them several times a year. Spice, the white and black one is for you…just like mine! And Sugar, the yellow one is for you, it has the same stitching as your sister’s!

I also got a traditional outfit for a three year old boy… we still haven’t heard any news about our April matching meeting in Lesotho. But I thought it would be good for “the new guy” to have Ethiopian clothes when we go to parties, too.

I got a cool hoodie for myself…it’s a new style and it actually really suits me. I also got some bracelets. For Jrock I got the beginning of our coffee set. He wanted me to buy a traditional pot and these are the cups I chose to go with it. Cute, eh?

Lastly, I got two suits for the girls. They’re the latest traditional clothes style, and I thought they would e good for winter Ethiopian events. You girls can choose which on is for whom. They are the same except that they each have a different pattern on the stitching.

After shopping until we dropped (Thank you, thank you, Sintayehu, who negotiated for us and drove us around.) We tried to find my favourite tibs restaurant near the university. Well, I think we may have ended up in the wrong place, but it turned out that the sheep tibs (and I am NOT a mutton fan) were the second best meal I’ve had so far. Only second to the Nakemte Mate Resort omelettes. Tomorrow we have meetings and then we are off to Dukum to see my friend M’s family, and then on to Adama/Nazret. I can’t wait to see Meseret and the new Faya Orphanage digs!

Received an email from Nicky in Nakemte tonight. Her internet access was very poor, so she only sent a quick note…

Read more on vulnerablechildren.ca

T, Mom and I have all made it to Addis! For all of us, the
memories are ripe, and it is so good to be here. We all have spent time
in this same hotel, and seeing familiar faces at the airport was just
wonderful.
Read more here

Today’s book sale at the girls’ elementary school was a resounding success! in so many ways.

The reason we were doing the book sale was to raise monry for the educational centre in Gindo, Ethiopia (built by Canadian Humanitarian and furnished by Vulnerable Children.)

But the reason we held the booksale this week, of all the busiest weeks of the year, was because I wanted the girls to feel empowered to make a diference. And they did. You see, Spice came up with this idea 1 1/2 weeks ago, and I couldn’t put it off until two months later when it would be convenient. 5 year olds need to see the results of their actions right away. So we seized the moment and pulled it off.

The girls raised $240 just from the sale of books alone (awesome!!) but the teachers started a pool (and are giving it to me tomorrow) and the grade 6 class decided to donate their Me to We cash to the project as well. Apparently that’s $200+/-. So I’m guessing my 5 year olds have raised close to $500 for Vulnerable Children this week – not shabby!

We were playing on the playground after the big sale (decompressing and connecting) and Sugar said how great her heart feels, knowing that they can really help other kids in Ethiopia. As a parent, that was exactly what I was hoping she would take away.

Icing on the cake was the grade 6 donations. Apparently (hearsy from the girls’ teacher) the class invited my two little pip-squeeks down to their classroom to present on the project. Off the cuff, my two kids told them all about how some kids in Ethiopia don’t have books to study from, and sometimes not even enough food. We have lots of books in our library and they should have that too. Their teacher was so proud of how articulate they were! (me too – even in hearsay.) And then the grade sixers formally presented their donation, wich surprised and pleased the girls enormously.

I don’t think I could be more proud.