Adoption tennis: Are they interested too?

Adopting through fostercare is very different that adoption through a traditional international adoption process. Most of our friends who have adopted from Ethiopia, China, etc. can relate to suddenly seeing your kids’ faces one day in an email, and then affirming that you do, indeed, want to adopt these children proposed to you.

(a little trip down memory lane..)

Fostercare adoption is more of a two-way street. Everyone has to be interested in each other, and it goes back and forth. We enquire – the kid’s case worker then asks for our homestudy. (We’ve put in several inquiries so far on waiting children, and only a few of the children’s case workers have asked back for a homestudy back. Are we so unattractive as a family? Nope – understandably, most case workers want their kids to be adopted in state.)

Last week we sent off our homestudy for the most interesting sibling group. We saw their video, and we couldn’t get enough of it. I think we’ve watch it 20 times now. We are pretty jazzed about them… it could be an amazing match. This Monday we had a long discussion with their adoption recruiter about the kids. The agency seemed pretty interested in us, and we are even more interested in the kids, knowing some more background. Now the ball is back in their court. Will the kids be interested in us? Would they want to move so far from what they know? Would they take a chance on a multiracial family? Would they like twin 8 year old sisters?

It would mean a new life, in a new culture, and to be in a family for the first time in many years. That’s a lot of change, and a big leap of faith to take, to become permanently a part of a family.

Mid week, and counting… hopefully we will hear something positive back at the end of the week, or early next. And then, the ball will be back in our court, finding out even more about the kids. It’s kind of like adoption tennis.

6 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. heidiab
    Jul 30, 2014 @ 08:16:13

    I remember that day well! Best of luck with finding the right match for your family a second time. It will all happen when it’s supposed to and be perfect!

    Reply

  2. emily
    Jul 30, 2014 @ 20:06:50

    Wow! Sounds so different for sure. I can only imagine how emotional it all is too!

    Reply

    • Arnica Rowan
      Jul 30, 2014 @ 23:05:53

      I’m trying to not get too wrapped up in it… Normally I would be crazy, but we have a lot of distractions at the moment to keep me sane. :-) mostly.

      Reply

  3. Rachel
    Jul 31, 2014 @ 11:23:12

    Your family seems really warm and lovely. The fact that you and the kids get to choose each other is wonderful. Given how little control they have probably had in their lives before, letting them actively participate in forming their new family sounds like a great way to begin building your relationship. Very warmest best wishes to you and all your kids!

    Reply

    • Arnica Rowan
      Jul 31, 2014 @ 11:28:59

      Now that, Rachel, is a good insight! I’m very aware of their role in by his, and think is extremely important that they get to make a decision on their side, too…

      Reply

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