The birds and the bees and adoption answers
Apr. 30th | Posted by Nicky
11 comments
So if you are one of the parenting school that doesn’t think we should teach our kids about procreation until they are older, teenagers, or possibly married, don’t watch the video below. Or if you don’t want to hear scientific names for male/female body parts, don’t watch the video either. It might offend you – and I don’t like to offend anyone.
But if you are of the parenting school that believes in teaching the birds and the bees earlier in life, or simply enjoy a good laugh at the innocent joy of children, click to play! (Remember, this has nothing to do with s*x for them, it’s all just about babies.)
It was a rather spontaneous conversation that had just began over dinner when I hauled out the camera. As you can see – the girls are familiar with the basics. I don’t think everyone has had the occasion to chat about these things with their three year olds, but I can tell you that my girls basically brought procreation and babies up. As soon as they could talk about it. And thanks to a little coaching from Meg Hickling (via video), I felt comfortable about answering their questions.
We have a lot of people dear to us that are pregnant right now, including Auntie V, who has “two babies in Auntie V..’s uterus!” as my daughters are proud to tell people. “Twins!” They wanted to know how babies got everybody’s uteruses. And why the babies stay in there for a long time. And when they know to come out. Surprisingly, they already had some idea (at two and a half) of HOW they came out – things you learn! The funniest event was when, days after the girls met Jrock, they mimicked birth for him with one of their dolls. OK…. that was a bit of a shocker for a new father!
But they also wanted to know if they came from my uterus, (answer – “no, from [birthmother]‘s uterus,”) and that they were together. They’ve told me that they had a lovely time playing in their birthmom’s uterus, which is kind of funny.
Lots of adoption questions/answers make a lot more sense when they know the birds and the bees basics.
I mean, if I said “well, you came from Ethiopia, not from my uterus,” then probably, in their literalest of literal brains, they would think there was some big Ethiopian cabbage patch or something.
Because of how we were brought up and what we do for a living, Jrock and I use pretty specific language… Until we used the word uterus, the girls thought the baby was swimming around in there with the spinach omelette from supper in the mom’s stomache. Now they get there are two locales.
And when my daughters ask why they are brown and I am pink, I have good answers for them (…plus, they know about melanin.) When they ask why one of them has a big outie belly button, I have a good answer. And because we have so many babies swirling around in our lives, it gives us lots of positive opportunities to bring up their birthmom in casual conversation.
Every family is different: religion is a taboo topic in my family, so we also have our “not at the dinner table!” conversations. But talking about the birds and the bees (with carrots!) works for us. Besides, as Meg says, “it’s never easier to talk to your kids about s*x as when they are preschoolers.” So true.
(PS: The * in “s*x” is so we don’t apear in the wrong type of internet searches!)
Hi Nicky,
We’re still waiting w/ Imagine but will be implicated by the 2 trip policy so…compared to timelines in the past, will be traveling sooner rather than later. When the time comes, I/we would be happy to take anything you have for the Faya Orphanage w/ us. Depending on which trip it is (the first will likely be a quicker one and the second more of a cultural experience) we may or may not be able to take the rubbermaids to the orphanage personally – it would be my hope to though.
I’ll keep in touch, if you like (or you can too…by following our blog/etc). We were #51 on the original list. DTE Sept 23/08. So, not expecting a call in the next month or anything but hopeful that it will be sooner than later.
Take care – your girls are beautiful. I’ve loved watched and reading over the past year (+)!
Ashleigh
Oh, hilarious!!!! Hmmm..you are right, that looks a lot easier than it would be to tell my near 7 year old… He used to think that I ‘ate’ him and his brother, and he got bored so he crawled up my throat and popped out of my mouth. He even asked me if he tasted good when I ate him! Mind you, that was a few years ago and we did buy a book and read it with him, but I am not sure if he remembers…we may need to revisit it! Where did you get the video, and is it for adults to watch, or do the kids watch it too?
Ashleigh – I emailed you. thanks a bunch!
Claire – we actually watched a video designed for parents with Meg Hickling speaking… our parent group has a member from the United Church and she got it from their church library. She is such a hilarious speaker. But if you went to your public library, I betcha they would carry a video or two from her – she’s been an educator since I was a kid… and from BC too!
This is so cute Nicky! I love it. Your girls are hilarious! And Moses sat very intently on my lap for this which is a rare thing!
Good on you guys!
If you really want to mix them up, show them the birds hatching here and let me know how you explain the differnce!!
http://www.hornbyeagles.com/webcam.htm
Barb
Barb – they thought that was really cool…..
Actually, we’ve talked lots about eggs because all the female mallards are sitting on eggs beside the stream we walk past each day ont he way to preschool.
I think this is great! K already knows she has a vag*na and that her
mommy does too. She loves to announce it while I am in a public bathroom of course. “VAG*NA MOMMY, VAG*NA PEE POTTY!”
Now if only we could get K’svag*na to do the same on the potty!
However, althoug we have told her that boys have pen*s’s she insists on calling them “ding dongs” when she sees her littlest big brother climb out of the shower. I have no idea where she got that from and I correct her every time….but we are still working on it!
I love the innocence and the soup conversation overlap!
Jenny
Hilarious is right!
We are pretty much the same in this house with those conversations. Makes life so much easier even if you do have to deal with a few embarrassing questions at inopportune times.
We too have some interesting conversations in pubic bathrooms… mostly a narration of how it’s going int heir particular stall, and inquiries into how its going in everybody else’s!
Ah, kids.
Good for you! Our parenting beliefs are “If they are old enough to ask, they are old enough to get the answer!” We typically tell them as much as they need to satisfy them for that moment. It wasn’t until my daughter was 5 that she asked “how” the babies got into Mommy’s belly – and she got the exact same answer you gave your girls. I love how you teach them all the correct terminology as well. Nothing sillier than children running around calling them “noodles” and “hoohaws”…lol.
(this is going to be a great embarrassing video for them when they get married! lol)
I have to admit, I have thought about the embarassing marriage videos!!!