So if you are one of the parenting school that doesn’t think we should teach our kids about procreation until they are older, teenagers, or possibly married, don’t watch the video below. Or if you don’t want to hear scientific names for male/female body parts, don’t watch the video either. It might offend you – and I don’t like to offend anyone.

But if you are of the parenting school that believes in teaching the birds and the bees earlier in life, or simply enjoy a good laugh at the innocent joy of children, click to play! (Remember, this has nothing to do with s*x for them, it’s all just about babies.)

It was a rather spontaneous conversation that had just began over dinner when I hauled out the camera. As you can see – the girls are familiar with the basics. I don’t think everyone has had the occasion to chat about these things with their three year olds, but I can tell you that my girls basically brought procreation and babies up. As soon as they could talk about it. And thanks to a little coaching from Meg Hickling (via video), I felt comfortable about answering their questions.

We have a lot of people dear to us that are pregnant right now, including Auntie V, who has “two babies in Auntie V..’s uterus!” as my daughters are proud to tell people. “Twins!” They wanted to know how babies got everybody’s uteruses. And why the babies stay in there for a long time. And when they know to come out. Surprisingly, they already had some idea (at two and a half) of HOW they came out – things you learn! The funniest event was when, days after the girls met Jrock, they mimicked birth for him with one of their dolls. OK…. that was a bit of a shocker for a new father!

But they also wanted to know if they came from my uterus, (answer – “no, from [birthmother]‘s uterus,”) and that they were together.  They’ve told me that they had a lovely time playing in their birthmom’s uterus, which is kind of funny.

Lots of adoption questions/answers make a lot more sense when they know the birds and the bees basics.

I mean, if I said “well, you came from Ethiopia, not from my uterus,” then probably, in their literalest of literal brains, they would think there was some big Ethiopian cabbage patch or something.

Because of how we were brought up and what we do for a living, Jrock and I use pretty specific language… Until we used the word uterus, the girls thought the baby was swimming around in there with the spinach omelette from supper in the mom’s stomache. Now they get there are two locales.

And when my daughters ask why they are brown and I am pink, I have good answers for them (…plus, they know about melanin.) When they ask why one of them has a big outie belly button, I have a good answer. And because we have so many babies swirling around in our lives, it gives us lots of positive opportunities to bring up their birthmom in casual conversation.

Every family is different: religion is a taboo topic in my family, so we also have our “not at the dinner table!” conversations. But talking about the birds and the bees (with carrots!) works for us. Besides, as Meg says, “it’s never easier to talk to your kids about s*x as when they are preschoolers.” So true.

(PS: The * in “s*x” is so we don’t apear in the wrong type of internet searches!)

We went over to dinner at K&S’s house in Westbank (aka West Kelowna!) with friends J&C and their daughter Tigger last weekend. I was a little concerned about the weather, but K luckily managed to convince me the weather would hold up – and boy, it sure did. We went for a lovely walk on Mt. Boucherie. The Okanagan sunflowers were out in full bloom – just lovely.

There is this trail up there with random stuff hidden all over it… the girls had fun discovering. Then we took out the trusty GPS and went to find a cache. Our friends were a little surprised went we jumped into the trees and went bush-wacking up the hill, but heh, those are the joys of geocaaching. Everybody was game, though, and even little Tigger walked quite a bit. (Our girls were troupers stomping through the trees until the walk back… I keep reminding them that they are in training for hiking with Auntie Ena this summer, and they are taking it very seriously. ) We made quite a posse, with six adults, three little girls and three little dogs. A side note – our awesome Maggie. She just ran and ran, but stayed close the whole time off leash. Sometimes I forget what an awesome dog she is…

Then we went to K&S’s and had a great meal and played games until the kids started to sack out. Good times!

We learned a new parenting trick – you know the kids are going to sleep in the car on the way home… we never thought of bringing the PJs with us and putting them on before we leave – thanks J&C! Have to sdo that next time.

Last year we had this grand scheme for the side yard, which was basically this grassy, weedy pit of a place. The previous owners has some half-baked plans that never came to fruition. We decided to build a shaded play area, with butterfly attracting, soft plants, trees to make shade, and many indigenous plants. Then after we took all the gravel and stuff out last year – oops! off I went to Ethiopia.

But we still had the plans. So this year we’ll see it though. The girls helped us pick rocks last week. there was a considerable amount of dirt to move, and a lot of weeds and grass to take out. Then I staked it out with our plan, and today we bought most of the plants.

Today I started planting, but stopped after an hour. This could take a while! The only ingredigent that we’re missing is the thyme for the middle. We’re not sure if we can get away with white creeping thyme, instead of the thicker stuff we had planned (but don’t have enough of at the store…)

I’ll post more pictures when it sharts to grow in more…

Our dear little Laughlin hasn’t been such a dear lately. In fact, when I left for Ethiopia, he started peeing in the house… and hadn’t really stopped until about a month ago. We got to the point where we had him in diapers every day (a “male wrap”, they call it!) which was a temporary solution, as obviously I wasn’t cool with doing diapers for the next 15 years. Especally when I had avoided doing it with my kids.

So after a whole lot of effort (it wasn’t for lack of trying) and a LOT of frustration, we hired a dog trainer.  She came to house, and we devised a few schemes to stop Laughlin chasing the cat, which was a new thing due to an incident with an old feline scrapper down the block, and for him to finally stop peeing in the house.

Part of the solution is that he’s in this pen when he’s in the kitchen. We’ve gradually made it bigger over the last couple of weeks. The funny thing is that the girls miss messing around with him, so they’ve taken to visiting him in there and playing “dogs” too. Laughlin likes the company. And I’m liking Laughlin a lot more now too, minus the peeing.

The writer of this blog takes no responsibility for the opinions expressed in this motion picture.

Our Okanagan Families With Children From Africa group had our second Happy Hair Hour last week – what fun!  Thanks so much to N for hosting.  There were 7 of us ladies… most with kids from Ethiopia and Swaziland, and one Ethiopian lady. The agenda – eat baked camembert, drink wine, be merry, and talk hair (specifically, our kids’ hair).

One of the items I brought to show and tell (this is one of my favorite part of Happy Hair Hour, aside from the gossip and the cheese!) was my Magic Hair Elixir.  And today – oh you lucky people – the recipe is going to be shared with the world!!!

So it was born of necessity. The first time I was going to do twists on my daughter’s hair, I didn’t have any holding paste or wax. I don’t like gel staying on there and drying the hair out, and the only beeswax paste I could find, well, it’s main ingredient is petroleum. So after encouragement from my friend, I decided to make my own.

A couple batches in, I can tell you that it works AWESOMELY. The wax gives you a grip on the hair and holds a bit, the butter moisturizes and the oil allows it to be the right consistency for dabbing onto the hair pre-braiding. It doesn’t leave a film on my grils’ hair at all, and it helps it stay nice and moisturized and healthy. Enjoy!

My magical hair elixir

• 1/4 beeswax
  I get mine at the farmer’s market, or last last Saturday night, at the honey farm!
• 1/4 coconut or shea butter
  Both work great. 100% butters are available at your local health food and most grocery stores.
• 1/2 oil (olive or sweet almond are good)
  The trick is you can’t use any oil that needs to be stored in the fridge after opening.

Melt together in a jar over water, then stir several times as it cools. Store at room temperature.

Jrock and I were measuring the girls last night again. They don’t seem to have grown since February, when I last measured them.  But they sure are getting heavier.  I kinda wonder if we’re in for another growth spurt again soon…!

Global Citizen Kelowna – a wonderful experience!

Lots of awesome events are planned for this year – we’re certainly going to the children’s festival and hope to eat at the “Taste of Home” as well…. I’ve also submitted some photos to the “Artist’s Eye on the World” exhibit, so we’ll see if any of them make the cut!

If you live in the Kelowna area, you might want to check it out!

We learned last week that two directors from YMCA Ethiopia were going to visit our preschool today. They are touring BC YMCAs as part of a leadership exchange with YMCA Canada. Another Ethiopian mom and I volunteered/were asked to help organize some welcoming activites, and it was our pleasure to do so.

Today M brought all the stuff for coffee ceremony. We roasted coffee beans in the classroom to a group of rapt 3 and 4 year olds, while reading them an Amharic ABC story book. The kids feasted on ambasha, a Tigrean bread made by one of M’s friends. Then the kids (orchestrated by yours truly) tapped sticks and banged drums to a Ethiopian song. Funny, it was Hole Hole on the Sorene CD. I didn’t know what it meant (just that it was a kids song) but by pure coincidence, M told me that the song is all about being appreciative of going to school. How appropriate! Then we had coffee ceremony for the adults while the kids played outside.

It was great to meet these gentlemen who are obviously devoted to their programs and the Y in Ethiopia.  They have young children programs, but also lots to do with physical fitness, spiritual development, etc. I really like their program for young orphans, which gives subsidies to relatives and fmaily friends to keep the kids in homes they know, while paying for school fees, uniforms, etc. A lot like CHOIR’s program. They also have a big AIDS/HIV awareness program for teens, which 10,000 young people have gone through. Awesome!

We also had an interesting discussion (prompted by one of the directors) too, about the health of children in orphanages. He commented on how the Ethiopian government, from his perspective, doesn’t want kids growing up in orphanages, specifically because of attachment issues (ie: not learning to love or relate to others.) So they are more in favor of kids staying in familial units or being adopted.Very interesting perspective!

YMCA Ethiopia is subsidized by YMCA Canada and YMCA US, so if you would like to contribute to their awesome programs, please contact your local YMCA director and see if they can hook you up!

I was reading an insightful post on the quagmire of being a mom, and getting it right by Sharla tonight. It really rang true for me – especially since I read the funniest and freakishly true magazine article on the same topic.
“The battle of all mothers” in Today’s Parent: 

When my son was four, a woman I’ll call Karen invited us over for lunch. I was excited: Her daughters were well behaved and precocious, and she seemed well connected — the kind of mom who could give me pointers on local kids’ programs. She, however, had another agenda. As soon as we sat down in the kitchen, she plopped three carrot sticks on my son’s plate and asked, “If I give you four more, how many will you have?” He stared at her blankly, until she trilled, “Girls?” All of them, even the three-year-old, sang out, “Seven!” Karen, it turned out, was the queen of the teachable moment, even if she had to invent it. When her youngest asked for a slice of apple, Karen demanded, “What letter does apple start with? Good! And what else starts with the a sound?” And so on.

My son was unfazed but, inside, I shrank. Why didn’t he know this stuff? And then: Why hadn’t I taught him? I thought Karen was a terrible show-off and quite possibly nuts, but still — she rattled me.

Why do competitive moms make us anxious and defensive, even when their game is so obvious? You probably already know the answer: Because one way or another, we all play it too.

I try not to be too judgemental, (which runs contrary to my nature,) but when you throw yourself into parenting and read every book and mull over every decision, its hard not to be married to your own parenting ideas. So when you see people doing other approaches, if it doesn’t run contrary to your values, you’re like “that’s ok. Not how I’d do it, but whatever.” But when you see someone parenting in a manner that is either completely thoughtless, or, just with different values underpinning it, well, out come the judgements.

Mom steriotypes: (funny!) 
Granola mom / BlackBerry mom / Flash card mom 
/ Fashionista mom / Sports mom from hell

Personally, I blame it on feminism. (Tongue in cheek, for those that don’t know me.) I mean, you give a woman a choice to raise a family or not, then she either

1. is a mid-thirties career woman who is used to research from experts, taking her work seriously and producing results; or,
2. has chosen being a mama as her primary vocation early-on, and also takes it seriously and puts her whole life into it.

My mom once said to me (and I paraphrase): “you know, we never used to think long and hard about if we’d have kids or not – you just did. And you didn’t plan kids around your investment portfolio or careers – you just did it. Sometimes I think parents today think too much.” She may very well be right. Maybe we plan too much. Maybe we take this whole parenting thing too durn seriously.

Then again, Mom, was this spirit of competitive one-up-mama-ship alive and well when you were parenting? (Gramma? Want to learn how to coment on a blog?!?) Or is the serious and pick-your-cult-of-parenting  approach a real generational thing? Any opinions out there?

(Come on, of course you have an opinion - you’re one of the two seriously devoted people I mentioned above!)

Aside from the random 10 minute hailstorm yesterday, we’ve been having great weather here in the Okanagan. Spring is here in full force – it’s kinda cool:  the “two lips”, as the girls call them, which they planted last fall are up and blooming. I think gardening is a great activity for them to learn about nature and food.

You know, sometimes you have to grab the kids in mid-flight, on their mad dash across the room or lawn to get a hug.  But right after their nap, well, it’s nice.  They’re cuddly and snuggly like no other time of the day. Sometimes dazed and confused, but snuggly none-the-less.

Both the girls are quite affectionate – they’re huggers and kissers. I am too, although sometimes I er on the side of standing straight and not getting down to their level. Jrock has really really stretched himself (never being the affectionate type) but now he gets big hugs and kisses before and after work, post-nap and before bed. You can tell he enjoys it – and who wouldn’t. I especially like now the spontaneous looks in the eyes and “I love you Mama!” with a cheeky grin or a snuggle into my shoulder. Their cheeks are so soft~

The Easter Bunny paid us a visit Saturday night. He brought candy and Lindt chocolate Easter Bunnies for the girls (dark chocolate for Spice and milk chocolate for Sugar, of course.) Then he hid their eggs all around the bedroom, and they had to find them before they could eat them for Sunday breakfast…

… and this afternoon we went to the neighbors for an Easter egg hunt in their backyard. The girls had a blast.  The neighbors’ little boy goes to the same preschool; the rest of the people were new to us, but a nice bunch. As I type this (to be posted tomorrow!) the girls are settling down for a nap. I thought that, after all the sugar and chocolate, they would be too wired, but they seem to want a little downtime. They’ve goot all their goodies screwed up tight into spaghetti-sauce jars on their dresser, far from Maggie and Laughlin’s prying noses. Now, if I can just restrain myself…