I am so close to doing something crazy
May. 7th | Posted by Nicky
13 comments
I am <this close> to hopping on a plane. There has to be something I can do… I only worry that if I interfere I will jeopardize our adoption in another way. It’s the only reason I am not in Ethiopia already.
I contacted my old friend who lives in Ethiopia today. Bless her soul, she returned my email in 2 hours… when the last time I wrote was 1/2 year ago. She’s such a good person – and had some ideas about getting some help… it’s another option, anyway.
I know I can’t tell you much – I think the only reason I am blogging is because it’s a bit of a pressure release. Like yelling into a pillow, or crying at a red light just so you can concentrate on the next few kms of highway. It is hard for us to concentrate on daily life… we are constantly preoccupied with the girls and a whole bunch of unanswered questions. And waiting – oh, the waiting. It’s brutal.
Even though I’m happy for the people I see getting referrals and getting through court on the discussion groups, I don’t feel like responding. I’m not even sure if I want to go to our Families With Children from Africa gathering Saturday. All those new families – I’ll just scare them off adoption being Debbie Downer. And Jrock isn’t much better, I tell you. I’m trying to enjoy spring – trying to get some work done… and then I have five days that I’ve given myself off and the first two have been equally boring and frustrating and gloomy.
$2283. That’s how much a return ticket is to Addis on Sunday.
Hi Nicky,
I hope to see you there on Saturday. Remember that we all care about you and are here for you. Never feel like a downer we if anyone can understand how hard this part of the process is. Ever need to talk I am always here ready to listen.
-Kari
Even though our situations are different – I completely relate!! I constantly feel like I’m in a daze with the rest of life because really all I want is to get on a plane and go get my girls!! sheesh… this is frustrating to say the least.
Oh I hope you hear some good news soon! I can only imagine how difficult it is for you. I would like to get on the plane with you – you can figure out what is holding you from your girls and I can get the official word on singles adopting and end the rumours!
I keep checking in thinking of both of you!
This totally sucks! I remember people telling me I needed to be patient, but it wasn’t the delays that were upsetting me it was the lack of information and complete and utter fear that something was going horribly wrong and they were keeping something from me. In the end it all worked out, but with a lot of unnecessary angst in the meantime. I also remember feeling like Debbie Downer and avoiding people because I just couldn’t bear the questions. I was lucky to have the support of the other Almaz families going through the same thing, because they could totally relate. We’re all here for you too!!! If you ever want to vent, don’t hesitate to contact me!!!!
Carolyn
Nicky,
I can’t imagine what you both must be going through, we’ve had a hiccup in our adoption and that has been a huge eye-opener for us as to how emotionally draining this process is…I sure hope you come on saturday, it would be nice to meet you and the hubby, and I haven’t been to the group much yet, but I think these are the times that groups like this help the most. Hope to see you there.
Flora
Nicky, I really hope that you’re able to get information soon. I can’t imagine how heavy the weight of not knowing everything must feel. I’m thinking of your family and hoping for some really good news to come your way.
Hey guys,
How sad and unfair your whole situation must seem every day. I don’t know all the ins and outs of the scoop with your girls, and it’s so difficult to sit back and wait and wait and wait some more to hear any news or to get the ball rolling on anything. Vent anytime. And I think you should still go to your gathering, sometimes you need to get out and get fresh persepective on things. I think of you often and hope things turn in your favour very soon.
Brutal is the word, but I think being $2400 to the lesser, probably won’t get you much farther than being in Canada.
Nicky, GO to the group, they will comfort you and share awful stories with you. You will see the light at the end of the tunnel and maybe get to hold a cute kid or two… it might be a little depressing, but what isn’t during these long days of waiting and uncertainty??? Nobody will be able to commiserate with you like other AP’s… wish I were there too!!! I would give anything for a waiting parents group here in NZ, though I have found one fellow waiting-on-a-kid-from-africa family, so that is nice
… don’t be afraid to vent and cry and laugh and let it all hang out, that’s what those groups are for!!!
big hugs,
tiffani
not that it eases your pain but I’m sending you some loving comfort and positive thoughts anyway. Try and keep your faith girl…and follow your heart! Those sweet babies need your advocacy!
Jenn
If you might be able to do something, it could be very worth it. Sorry to hear things have been so tough. I was so excited when you got your referral, and thought things would move along. So did you I’m sure. I have no idea what is taking so long, but it must be so frustrating and depressing. Hoping things get moving soon.
Oh God, I can not imagine what you two are going through right now. I am absolutely dreading having to deal with multiple court dates when my time comes.
CAFAC communicated to us that the standard is now 4-6 court dates, so I’m keeping that in mind. You guys are right in line with that, so I hope you can manage to take another deep breath and don’t do anything ‘crazy.’
Oh Nicky…. I can’t believe how long this is dragging on. I know you aren’t sharing details ( curious me wishes I knew them ) but I hope and pray that these girls are really meant for you and J and that the universe brings you together SOON!
Don’t give up.
(((hug)))))
Sending you best wishes that you have a successful court date soon!! Having been through a number of court dates, myself, it is definitely the most difficult and longest wait ever and it is so frustrating when you don’t know what is going on and you feel absolutely helpless in terms of the situation.
I can’t wait to see pictures of your girls, and I hop and pray that Imagine is able to call you with good news soon.
Serenity