10 months
Jul. 2nd | Posted by Nicky
8 comments
I thought I’d give a little update on the wait this month…
Well, we are still “top of the list” – meaning that the next kids who come in who fit our age request will be referred to us – and we are still waiting. 10 months. Who knew? Certainly not us. People who submitted their paperwork for siblings a few weeks/ a month before us have their kids home already.
My analogy: It’s like being on a train and every time you pull up to a station it just zips on by the platform. Maybe the next one you’ll be able to get off. But you’re not sure, because you are not driving the train; you are just a passenger.
We’ve tossed around changing our age request again. First, because I thought (ok, I knew) that the “one child under 1 year old” is why we haven’t got a referral yet. Second, because I’ve been spending more time with babies and 1.5 and 2.5 year olds, and I’m finding that I’m enjoying the older ones more. But we haven’t made any changes. I worry that we’ll get the kids home and then I’d think “Oooo, I miss not having had a baby…” And since these are our only 2 kids, well… I just don’t want any regrets. So I continue to mull that one over.
However, we’ve now reached that shady time of the year when referrals come in, but the courts are closed. (For August and September – the judicial system shuts down for the rainy season in Ethiopia.) We wouldn’t be bringing our kids home till Christmas if we got a referral tomorrow or mid October. So… we wait. And it doesn’t really matter as far as wait times go if we change our request in the next 3 months or not. I’m starting to think about what work I will do in the fall (my work is contractual, and I hadn’t taken any contracts, anticipating that I would be with the kids at home – WRONG-O!) and am starting to resign myself to another 5-6 months of no kids. Resigning doesn’t mean being happy with, it just means (hopefully) being able to live a little more in the moment, knowing that it won’t happen any time soon.
Hey, do you see me??? Yeah that’s me on the same train, giving you a big ol’ wave. How about we both get off at the next stop?
Ricki
I sorry your wait has been so much longer than you expected.
We did change our request from 2 under 24 months to 2 under 36 months. We fully expected to be referred a 2 and a 4 year old. I was stunned when we were referred a 4 month old! I am not a huge ‘baby person’ – I did have a bio child and certainly enjoyed her when she was a baby, but I think kids are so much more interesting at 18 months+.
Now that we are home, I am so thankful to have a baby and enjoy all the firsts again. I didn’t think I would enjoy it as much as I am. Our three year old also delights us every minute with his antics and he is so affectionate and charming.
I guess what I am trying to say is this – YOUR children will come home to you. I am not particularily spiritual, but I do believe that your kids are already chosen and waiting for you and whatever you decide about your age request, it won’t change a thing. I am hoping you see those faces soon…
I’m so sorry that this wait has been so long for you and that you don’t even have any idea when the end will be. That is just so lousy. But I think you are making the best of it by just trying to move along and of course by discovering some very cool child paraphenalia along the way! (aka spy cam!)
Hey Nicky!
I hope that train stops at the station and lets you get off on that darn platform already!!! Both you and Ricki have been waiting way too long!
I completely understand wanting to have the baby experience….we have requested an infant under 12 months and every now and then I think we are being selfish and should really request an older child because they certainly need homes too. We think we will the second time around.
However, we must be true to ourselves and so should you guys. If you think you will have even the slightest hint of regret than don’t change.
Like Shauna said, Your children will come home to you!
I hear you I hear you…I’m in the train behind you but not too far behind, and even though I’m pretty busy, I feel like my life is on hold…something’s not complete.
ME
I talked to our caseworker yesterday, too… and she confirmed that we definitely wouldn’t have a court date before the court closures… so there you go. At least she’s honest and I know nothing is going to happen in the next 2 weeks (sort of the cut-off for referrals that would make it to court before the closures.)
She also did say, that there are children waiting at the transition home that they don’t have families for. And since I know friends who have requested siblings up to 6, and another family that has requested 2 girls up to 8, I think that they must have some single older kids waiting for families…
Nicky
This is getting so crazy for all of us! I can’t believe the wait is still happening!! Gosh, ridiculous.
I like your train analog. Hang in on that platform.