Nine Months
Jun. 3rd | Posted by Nicky
12 comments
The first picture I found for my “nine months post” had this pretty number 9 with lots of balloons and happy thoughts all through it. But that’s not really how I’m feeling, so I ditched the balloons and went with this picture.
You know when you’ve lost something for a long time and instead of it being obviously missing from your life, you just have a small ache? Or when you have a long-time pain, that doesn’t go away, but it gets duller, and you get used to it. That’s how I feel now about this whole wait. My emotions have been spent. My hopes have fizzled out. My joy is blanched. I’m just in limbo.
And the worst part of it is, I feel like it’s unjustified. Afterall, we will get a referral eventually. And it’s not the worst thing that can happen to people, this waiting business. So I routinely try to forget and pretend that it’s not that hard, and shove it to the back of my mind. But, in this one moment, I allow myself to roll around in my frustration. There. Rolled. Now I’ll put it on the shelf for another month.
Hey there. 9 months, that’s too crazy. There really must be no kids coming in to either of our agencies in our age ranges, fingers crossed for very soon!
Sending you a big hug!
Rana
The wait is so hard. It’s like nothing I’ve ever experienced before. And you’re bang on about it being like limbo (and not the kind where you bend over backward and dance under a pole, either.) There comes a point where you just lose the excitement, the drive to get ready, the interest. And it almost feels like you’re not even adopting anymore.
But it will happen. Maybe when you don’t expect it. But you know what? It’ll be when it’s meant to be, because only then will your children — YOUR CHILDREN — be waiting for you. All this time, all this waiting, is all to get you to YOUR children. And the date will be exactly right.
It’s not easy. But we’re all waiting and hoping with you. And we look forward to celebrating that day with you, too.
Hang in there.
Geez, I am soo with you on this wait. We have both been waiting months longer than we thought we would have to and it just plain really sucks! And being emotionally spent is exactly how I feel too. And no this waiting business isn’t the worst thing that could happen but boy oh boy it sure isn’t easy either. I am really really hoping that we will be celebrating together VERY soon (how many times have I said that now, lol!).
Thinkin’ of ya!
Ricki
9 months that’s ridiculous. I’m so sorry! Your timeline is a CAFAC timeline not a KL one … How hard for you!
I can’t wait to see the light come back into your posts when you get your referral… You are right, it will come I just hope that it doesn’t take much longer.
Alicia
I think the picture you went with captures the constant presence and angst perfectly.
I think I’m like you with my coping mechanisms – pushing it to the back and focusing on other things so I can pretend everything is just like it used to be. Seems to help although the angst still surfaces from time to time.
While you wait, keep building up your garden… it inspires me to work on mine too
Ugg…nine months and nothing yet? I’m sorry you guys are still waiting!! This part of the process is so difficult! I hope you hear something very soon!!!
–Danielle
nothing great to say but hey – you have waited far longer than I ever thought you would and that kind of stinks even though you know as everyone else already pointed out and I know you already know, the end result will be well worth any amount of wait
Oh My…. but just know that when you learn of your babe, the fit will be perfect!
Hey Nicky,
I am so sorry that it is taking so long. I know that your babies must be on their way to the TH soon. I will send positive thoughts your way and I hope that you hear really good news soon. I am here if you ever need to talk or vent.
-Kari
Checking back and hoping for good news, my heart breaks for you guys. My mind is tormented not only by your waiting but for all the homeless children sitting there waiting for politics to happen. You are part of the solution!! be strong, sk
Hang in there. Big hugs to you.