Kelowna, Invermere and my singing sister

My sister (aka Ena) and her husband M visited us in Kelowna a week or so ago… we had a blast going to Elton John.  But we also enjoyed some nice down-time playing, chatting, and visiting wineries. 

Then a few days ago we went to visit my sister in Invermere. The highlights for the girls were, in order, petting Ena’s chickens, watching Ena sing, and seeing Gramma. Sorry Gramma, you have taken a backseat to the chickens. 

But for me, the highlight was seeing E and B, the girls’ childhood friends form Ethiopia. E and B came from the same community as my girls, arrived the same day in the orphanage, moved the same day to the transition home, and had their Canadian parents arrive to pick them up the same day. And it had been one year since we had seen them last. The girls remember and enjoyed the company of E and B like cousins living afar, but I think it was much more special for the E and B twins, for their mom and for me.

I’ve posted a few pics of our visit below, but I also have added a video of Auntie Ena performing with her group at Pynestock.  We kept the girls up to 11pm to catch their first ever concert (just until Auntie Ena was finished) but it was worth it just to see her and her posse. Enjoy ”Unhooked”! 

I was worried as summer approached - what hair could I do that would stand up to the sun, days at the beach, sprinklers, etc?

Well, I decided that the swimming would just happen, and not to worry. But I did start making their braids smaller and using more of my secret hair elixer. (Secret told here.) So far so good! In the pictures below, you can see Sugar’s hair was just done, so the hair elixer is gooing out… but the braids have been lasting about three weeks, which is great, I say!

     

Well it isn’t the Naramata Bench if you don’t do a little wine tasting, now is it?

We did slip away to see a few wineries… our favourite that we tasted at was La Frenz - everything was good. Somebody there obviously knows what they are doing.  And the prices were great. Kettle Valley had respectable wines… I came home with a few bottles, including a viognier which I have had several times before. Hillside had a sirah we liked, but that was it. It had a nice cafe, though… Jrock and I enjoyed our meals but the girls felt their pastas were too bland. Probably the first time a chef had a kids meal sent back for blandness, but heck - they were right. Marichel is doing exclusively Cotes-du-Rhone varieties, which is a bit limiting, but they had a viognier/sirah blend which was interesting. And Therapy was, well, terrible. Not on the recommended list.

The other reason we go wine tasting is the AC! Seriously, when it gets hot as hell camping out in the semi-arid desert, it’s a good idea to take the dogs and kids to the wineries.   The dogs are welcome anywhere there isn’t a restaurant, as long as, just like the kids, they are well-behaved. Which they are. And the kids like the occasional treats like slushies and cheese and other tidbits they get along the way.

Enjoy the pictures!

Harambee was a chance for the girls to spend some time with their new and old friends… I found they did more socializing than I did - maybe in future years I’ll get a chance to relax a bit more. But it was neat to see.

Sugar, in typical fashion, hung out with her Swazi friend T and some of the older girls, like JC and R & S… but she also stayed quite close to her mama and ababa. Spice, on the other hand, found a new friend that she stuck like glue to - C, who is a sweet boy seven years old (R&S’s brother.)

So both girls floated around in the same crowd much of the time, flitting between our trailers and the gathering places, but C and Spice would constantly find each other and dance with each other, etc. At the hip. So funny.

For me, a highlight was seeing my friends E and S, and L with her husband K. The first three I stayed iwth in Ethiopia, and it was lovely to see them again. they both looked so relaxed and happy. Eplainable in contrast to when we were in Ethiopia - top stress for them because they were some of the Almaz moms that busted out their babes early from the transition home, and for me because of the whole visa / bankruptcy business. In fact, E was the first one to email me from Ethiopia to tell me to get over there and pick up my kids.  

I digress. But they stopped for part of the day and we went to a winery and did a little catching up. Otherwise, I spent a little time with my friends from Kelowna and got to know some of them a bit better. We also started spending a bit of time with JC’s family from Nakusp, who are really nice. Next year - more visiting!

My sister came into town last night, (and thanks to my awesome friend T!), we got to go out to see Elton John. This concert sold out in 4 minutes and I was one of the frustrated people who didn’t get tickets… but somehow T did. And she sold them to me at the last minute. There isn’t a bad seat in our small 4000 seat hockey arena…. but we had the best ever seats right up behind the stage. The best concert I have ever seen. Bar none. He was just a master - so gracious and classy and, my heavens, WHAT a singer and entertainer.

We’r so lucky he played Kelowna… he and his partner have a home here, so I imagine that’s why. Ena and I had a fabulous time! Here’s a little bit of footage someone down below us in front of the stage managed to take.

Sugar on my lap - Spice in full drumming mode.

I thought I would break up the pictures from our week at Harambee thematically, instead of by day or something. After all, it was a jam-packed week of activities, friends, learning and winetasting!

For those of you who don’t know, Harambee is a family camp in its 16th year, for families with children of African heritage. There are kids from Haiti, the US, Ethiopia, Somalia, Swaziland, and of course Canada, just to name a few. All the families camp at the Naramata Centre, and during the days, the kids take drumming and hiphop and West African dancing lessons, and the adults take parenting workshops and attend crafting and storytelling with their younger ones.

Our girls especially enjoyed the drumming. Spice was in there like a dirty shirt - she just loved drumming and their “drumming teacher” Fana right off the bat. she’s been practicing the drum every day since we got back. Sugar, on the other hand, was pretty intimidated by Fana, who has a dynamic personality and a very loud drum. The first day she often hid her face in my shirt; the next day she retreated to a second row out of the circle. But by th third day she was back in the circle and sat beside Fana, and the fourth day, she was happily chatting with him. Just goes to show how far patience and support goes.

The Miyanda dancers show.

Next year, maybe we can bring something from Eastern Africa or Ethiopia to the camp, and add that dimension espcially pertinent to lots of the younger kids.

These guys crack me up. You can see what drumming lessons for a week, two tiny guitars, mixed with a little artistic licence, does.

It is an 11 minute video… but enjoyable for family and friends with time to kill!

If you are wondering - yes, Sugar does have a black eye. It’s going down now, thank goodness. Twirling-in-a-curtain-with-a-friend incident.

My frind L asked me to post some pictures of my gardens this year. Here you go, my friend. Sure beats the hell out of Calgary for growing, lol. I think you still had snow when these pics were taken.

The homestead. Notice how much the front gardens have grown in since just planting them last year….

The back porch and the veggie beds. These pics were a couple of weeks ago, so they’ve grown in quite a bit since. Notice my pride and joy - an irrigation system for the veggie beds! Worth every penny. Now we can leave town for more than two days without our veggie plants shrivelling up. Now we have lettuce, spinach, baby carrots, zucs, turnip greens, etc ready.

The berry patch in the backyard is now fenced - with a chicken coop fence, but it keeps Laughlin and Maggie out. they were getting their feasts of strawberries and Laughlin had just started to every-so-gently nibble the raspberries off the canes too. Last year Maggie ate all the pears. Not this year! I have foiled you, dogs!!!

We put our guests to work. Auntie W and her friend K came over (pre-fence) for tea and we had VERY fresh strawberries! and of course mint tea, since we are overrun with mint and herbs.

The side yard has some of Jrock’s prized roses… these are both climbers and just in their second years. But they’ll look great soon. The veggie barrels - I never decided what to put in the last two, so they are still vacant. But the rest are tomatoes and peppers.

 

I have been following Darrell and Jess’s lovely story about their twins from Ghana for over a year now. It broke my heart to read a few weeks ago that they had, after 6 months in country with their babes and passing Ghanaian court, returned home with empty arms. Mary and Martha, those lovely little girls, stayed in Ghana.

Today I heard of another family with twins that has had their immigration application rejected by the Canadian High Commission in Accra as well. The sad thing is - it’s no surprise. It’s well known in African adoption circles that the Accra High Commission is NOT supportive of adoption, and has thwarted citizenship and visa applications, even superseding the Ghanaian courts. I think it’s time we sent out a message that this has to stop. These poor families, just two among the others I (and maybe you) know of, are fighting our own system to bring their kids home.

Please join me in sending a letter (best) or email (also very helpful) to the Minister of Citizenship and Immigration. Feel free to cut and paste as you like from my letter. And thank you for helping. We need to be able to stand up for these families!

Send to: Minister@cic.gc.ca
CC: YOUR MP, accra@international.gc.ca ; accra@dfait-maeci.gc.ca ; pm@pm.gc.ca

(I omitted Jess and Darrell’s last name, as they don’t put it on their blog, but please insert it if you know it too.)

The Honourable Jason Kenney, P.C., M.P.
Citizenship and Immigration Canada (CIC)
Ottawa, Ontario, K1A 1L1
Minister@cic.gc.ca  

RE: Blocked Adoption Visas in Accra, Ghana

July 11, 2010

Dear Minister Kenney;

I am writing to you as a Canadian citizen, and as an adoptive parent, about the strong concerns I have about the processing of adoption immigration cases by the Canadian High Commission (CHC) in Accra, Ghana.

My concern is about the rejection of visa and citizenship applications, submitted by Canadian adoptive parents on behalf of their Ghana children. There are several parents now who have legally adopted in Ghana, and have fulfilled all of the country’s expectations of process and documentation, only to have their applications for visas rejected. These parents have legal children in that country who cannot bring their kids home. I know in some of the cases, such as the Segal family (Andrea and Michael) from Bowen Island, BC, there have been previous concerns with the file… but even after addressing the concerns, the CHC refuses to reopen the Segal file. Another family I know, Darrell and Jess, also recently had their applications denied, after living for 6 months in Ghana with their legally adopted children (since passing Ghanaian court in April.)

These are not the only families I know of, but the ones that have made their struggles with CHC Accra public. Both of the families have young toddler twins that they have grown into a family with, that they love and have promised to cherish forever. Yet, they cannot bring them home. Darrell and Jess’ arms are empty, and their little girls Mary and Martha will now live without a family for the rest of their lives. The Segal family continues to live split in half, with homes on two continents, in perpetual limbo.

The immigration process is independent from the adoption process, as stated on the Canadian High Commission (CIC) website. CIC should only process the child’s citizenship/visa if the adoption satisfies the rules in the child’s birth country and the parents pass the Step 1 of the citizenship or visa process, which ensures the legitimacy of the parents’ Canadian citizenship. It is not the role of the High Commission to attempt to overthrow judiciary decisions made by the Ghanaian courts. Yet in both of these cases, the conditions are met, but the poor children wait to come home to Canada with their families.

It is apparent, that, on a case by case basis, and as an undeniable trend, the CHC in Accra is not respecting the law of its host country in regards to adoption. Either a crucial employee, or the Accra High Commission as a whole, is opposed to international, transracial adoption, and is doing its best to ensure no Ghanaian children come to live in Canada. I know that is a strong statement, but it is time someone from the adoption community is bold enough to state publicly what is well known in our community.

I hope, Minister Kenney, that you will

1. Ensure that the two family’s cases are reopened, (as the other families’ whose have been recently rejected) and be given an opportunity to be examined, while respecting the authority of the Ghanaian judicial system to make its own decisions regarding the adoption of Ghanaian children; and
2. To investigate the stated and unstated policies of the Canadian High Commission in Accra regarding international adoption, and to ensure that staff’s personal opinions on international transracial adoption are not influencing the immigration process.

I know your office deals with thousands of cases each day, but I implore you to consider the lives of these lovely children and their devoted families. Consider visiting their blogs to learn more about them, beyond the paperwork and case numbers: http://www.bringthetwinshome.org  / http://darrellandjess.blogspot.com  

I look forward to your reply and appreciate your attention on this matter.

Respectfully,
‘Nicky’

CC: Darren Schemmer, High Commissioner to the High Commission of Canada in Accra
accra@international.gc.ca  accra@dfait-maeci.gc.ca

The Right Honourable Stephen Harper, Prime Minister of Canada. pm@pm.gc.ca  

Jrock’s parents popped by for a 5 day visit the last week of June… and yes, I’m only posting about it now! (But you can see the garden in the background and in my next post you’ll be wowed at the difference 2 weeks of heat makes.)

We had a nice visit - going soccer games and Elysium Gardens, as well as out for the girls and Jrock’s favourite food - Indian! yummy. But the highlight for me was the day I took the troup out to Mission hill. They have such a great tour, and it’s such a nice basic introduction to Okanagan wines and wine making in general. I wasn’t sure how the girls would do with the 1 hour tour - but as usual, they were champs. Their only complaint was the “big people movie” at the start of the tour didn’t have any animals (but I was happy to see they’ve finally replaced the video after umpteen years!)

Other than that - they loved the barrel room - daughters after my own heart. I was showing them some basics of the cellaring process, and highlighting the smells and sights, and they ate it up. Then at the end of the tour, they got to “taste” their own kids wine (aka sparkling juice) which they just loved. To top it off, they bodyrolled down the amphitheatre steps, and then we got some amazing scratch-made cocoa-lish-ous soft serve icecream made by my friends the cooking class chefs at the Terrace Restaurant.

Not a better day to be had for my and my girlets! And Granny and Grandad ate it up (literally and figuratively) too. Granny always feels so relaxed when she comes visit, and they both really enjoyed getting to know the girls more now that they can communicate with them without any translator.

Shortly after we brought the girls home from Ethiopia, we took them to get a flourisde treatment. The dental hygenist told us “they both have cavities!” Yikes.

So three dentist apointments later, the “chompers” as the dentist calls them, are all fixed. The first visit was just that, a visit. The second one, both girls got a smaller cavity fixed - no sedation, no nothing. Boy o boy, do we have a good dentist. Dr. McCrae can fix a cavitiy in the back of their mouths, as they are awake, in under 3 minutes. I kid you not. Worth going to Peachland for! I highly recommend him (250-767-6411).

And then the third visit… Spice got another tiny one fixed, but Sugar had a BIG cavity. This one needed some bigger guns. So she had the laughing gas with her watermelon-smelling mask, got a needle, got a rubber drape over the tooth, a tongue hole to play with, and of course, lots of prizes after. Oh, and I can’t forget the piece-de-resistance… milk shakes!

It sounds funny, but we were upstairs last night when Spice said “who’s blood is this?” She found some blood on the floor. I searched all the human and animal paws in the house until I found a horribly broken claw on Haatim. It was all twisted off to one side and I was worried he had broken a toe. So off to the vet clinic - anesthetic and a nail removal later, we had him back home. Poor Haatim. I hope it grows back ok.

Last weekend we went to Mehaber / True Colours Camp. Some of our friends from Nelson organized this great little camp near Needles, BC, at Whatshan Lake.

There were only 12 families in a smaller private campground, so it was just nice. We could let the kids bike around like crazy without having to watch them at all. The two times I “lost” them I only had to look for 5 minutes to find them. Sugar and Spice were reunited with a little girl that they lived with at the Imagine/Kidslink transition home in Ethiopia. That was really cool. And they made new friends as well. Jrock and I got to sit back and relax. The camp was very informal, since it was so small, so I lead some crafts, and Jrock followed the girls around on the bike and chatted with the dads.

It was also nice for us to have a trial for Harambe Camp - which is for a whole week. The dogs were awesome, so we feel really good about that. But it also made us feel much more comfortable about the girls in the trailer and gave us a small list of stuff to buy and collect. Funny - we worried about our 17 foot trailer being too small with two kids and two dogs - honestly, the kids don’t make that much difference.

Only 163 people have seen this beautiful video of Ethiopia - the videography is stunning! So let’s make it many many more…

It gives me such warm memories of the bright, colourful dusty Ethiopia I got to know.

A couple of weeks ago (yes, I am behind in my blogging! ) my grandmother “Nona” and my auntie T visited from Calgary. Oh, and I can’t forget Auntie T’s dog Ronnie! They had a blast hanging out - and it as nice to have them here. The girls know them already, and Sugar’s reception was much warmer.

Just a side note, for all you parents interested in attachment. It was a couple days in, when Spice told me her plans to go home with Auntie T. So I took her upstairs and caught my aunt coming out of her bedroom; we had a quick talk about how Spice is staying here with us, how Auntie T only takes care of Ronnie, and Spice has a good mama here. Total props to my aunt - I sort of ambushed her with Spice and she totally backed me up on the spot. But yes, my one daughter still is interested in going home with nice, warm, female family members. Sugar - not at all. She is attached like glue. But we have to watch it a bit with Spice.

Anyway, we had a great visit. We went to Elysium Gardens, which is our small botantial gardens in Kelowna. I just love this picture, above. It was my first time there and it was just lovely. Auntie T and Nona and I went on a day trip to the winery and had a beautiful lunch at Quail’s Gate… and then we hauled them around to soccer practice, out to Vernon to visit my great aunts, to Planet Bee to buy honey and look at the hives, etc. Nona slept well while she was here! with all the activity. Two almost-four year olds are a lot of energy, if you aren’t used to it.